Member-only story
Assume the best in others… especially when they hurt you the most.
You’re feeling hurt, and I’m telling you to assume the best about that person. Sounds crazy, right? This is what Brene Brown calls being generous. It’s really another way to say, “Don’t take it personally. You don’t know what’s going on in the other person’s head and life. You are not at the center of everyone’s universe.”
It’s a simple concept, although not easy to do. I remember the first time I recognized that what was going on had little or nothing to do with me. I had a belief that when something went wrong, I was part of the equation, if not entirely responsible. Everything felt like an accusation, a judgment. This made me angry, guilty and resentful.
So here’s the story. My husband and I were having a conversation, and the tone changed pretty quickly. Uh-oh, I thought. Now what? What’s wrong? What did I do wrong? (Looking at yourself is a good thing, except when it leads to blaming and shaming yourself. I used to go there, all the time.)
I did a quick inventory of the day. Nothing there. Wait. It wasn’t about me at all. Maybe he had an argument with his father. (They worked together for 30 years and there was a lot of tension.) Or maybe something went wrong in his world of volunteer work. Or maybe he just wasn’t feeling well. The reason didn’t matter, except that it had…
