Member-only story
I am not a mind reader. If you need something, you’d better ask.
I am not a mind reader… and neither are you.
This had been my flawed belief for so long: yearning for someone to do the right thing or give me what I want without having to say a word. Assuming that you could, should know what was on my mind. Certainly my tone, body language and facial expressions were obvious signals, weren’t they? Well, not exactly.
I was completely wrapped up in myself (as you were in yourself). What right did I have to expect that from you? Or you from me? Who is responsible for my happiness and self-worth?
The easy answer is ‘you’. The honest answer is ‘me’.
I am not a mind reader, and neither are you. If I want something, it’s up to me to ask for it. It’s a simple solution, only two steps: know what I want or need, and then verbalize it to the right person. For some of us, though, it’s not an easy one. In fact, it challenges everything about us, and we come to a grinding halt.
ASKING FOR WHAT YOU WANT CAN FEEL UNNATURAL
Imagine…
- You’ve been a caretaker or go-to person most of your life. Focusing on yourself and your needs feels unnatural, even wrong. Everybody else is more important.
- You never felt you had a voice. You always deferred…
