If I need to be right, then you have to be wrong: why you MUST change this mindset to have a better relationship with your teen.

There’s this little thing called the ego. Not so little, really. The ego says, “I’m important. Pay attention to me. I know more than you. I am right. I must be right, or else who am I?” The thing about needing to be right is that it automatically means the other person has to be wrong. There can’t be two winners when one has to come out on top.

You know what that looks and feels like in any intimate relationship. There are hard feelings, rejection, anger, resentment. None of these pave the way for love and trust, which are at the heart of a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Now imagine how this impacts your relationship with your child. (Most of us don’t have to look far for an example.) Needing to be right leads to resistance and distance, the opposite of the connection and cooperation you desire. Why do parents do this if it gets more of what they don’t want?!

When you try to convince your child that there is a better way to approach or cope with a situation, you probably feel that you’re coming from a place of love. All too often, though, it’s really fear masquerading as love. Here’s what may be going on for you: