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The College Admissions Scandal: The Lesson Nobody’s Talking About.
The brouhaha of the college admissions scandal has faded, and there are other headlines to aggravate us. I want to go back there, because there’s a message that’s been lost — or not even spoken about — that falls solidly in the parenting arena.
Most of what we heard was about the despicable behavior of those involved, the parents and the middlemen. Then there was mention of a message our children are hearing, the one that says it’s okay to bypass the normal processes of getting into college; that money rules; that the system is rigged against them. All valid observations.
What are hardly mentioned are the messages sent to kids when parents take over this way:
- I don’t believe you are capable of accomplishing this on your own, so I will get involved and make sure it happens.
- You are more worthy than others of the privilege of attending this college, regardless of your qualifications, or lack thereof.
The parents didn’t use these words, but the kids got the messages, loud and clear.
They are crippling. The first shows a lack of confidence in a child’s abilities. The second ignores that their child may indeed not be qualified for that college, and they learn entitlement.
