Vaping and Gaming and Lying, Oh My! (A New Approach to Handling Undesirable Behaviors in Kids)

Whether your child is in middle school, high school or college, you may be seeing worrisome behaviors and habits. It’s important to consider what is in your control and what is not. Yelling and threatening generally don’t change anyone’s behavior. Take a look at this mom’s concern about her son’s vaping, gaming and lying. Consider this new way of handling undesirable behaviors.

Q: My son is home for a semester, taking classes locally and working; however we’re worried about him. He’s not saving any money, gaming a LOT, and vaping. His grades are slipping a bit, and we think he may have ADD. He’s also not honest with us sometimes, we don’t trust him, and we hate how that feels. We’re really concerned about the money spent on, and the health risks of, vaping. How do we approach this?

A: I’m not an expert on vaping, but I will say this: in your home you set limits and boundaries about what you can live with. (The thing about boundaries, though, is that you do it if and only if you are 100% sure you will follow through. Otherwise, don’t even bring it up.)

If your main concern is his health, that really is out of your hands. He’s 19. He can vape anywhere he wants, and that is not in your control. Since vaping is legal, you can’t use that argument either. If it is so distressing to you…