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How do you and your child cope when he doesn’t get his dream job? That’s a major challenge for many new graduates. The bottom line is that when you don’t get the job you want, you still give your best to the job you have. You never know where it will take you.
A mom in a parenting forum posted about her son who had just graduated from college and didn’t get his dream job. Mom was feeling sad for him, worried about his disappointment and plummeting sense of self-worth.
He had worked hard and followed the rules, and now feels like a failure. The job he was offered did not meet the expectations of the grand adventure he had planned. She attempted to get him out of his funk by explaining the realities of life, and offering up what was good in his life. He wasn’t buying any of it.
Parents: don’t jump into the pity pit with your child! That sends a message that it’s really as awful as he thinks it is. What can you do?
Empathize and acknowledge — that’s a good start. He doesn’t need a lecture about life. He needs a chance to vent and whine (not indefinitely), so that he can start to accept where he is today.
“I see how disappointed you are. It’s understandable after all the hard work you did.” Stop there. Let it sit. He’ll either keep talking or he won’t. Then you can ask, “What do you…